The devil must have created your soul, cause only he could have made such a perfect asshole."
*A friend is someone who knows the song in your head and sings it back to you when you forget how it goes.
I tried to drown my problems - but they can swim.
People are funny; they spend money they don't have to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like."
"If prefer to describe my profession as that of a 'Contemporary Anthropological Interactive Observer' because it has just the right amount of flair. Besides, 'stalker' is such an ugly word."
"I'm not in denial, I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept."
"Don't worry about what other people say about you, because it can't be as bad as what you think about them."
Friend: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
Eye Contact: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
Easy: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
Well, on the other hand, you have different fingers
Nothing is more annoying then argueing with someone that knows what hes talking about!
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun!!
It's been quite lovely but I have to scream now!!
Are you always this stupid? Or is today a special occasion?
Call me any time. I won't be home.
honk if you love britney spears. Then drive your car into a tree.
Let's have an intelligent conversation.I'll talk and u listen.
4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep
**friends dont let friends drink and take home ugly men**
in some cultures what i do iz considered normal
Roses are red violets are blue
sugar is sweet and so are you,
but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head
Argue not with dragons, for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup!
"Everybody should believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."
The sweetest sound of all is that of my own name spoken by the boy I care about. ~Unknown
"There are three kind of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what the hell just happened."
"This is where, if I had a dick, I'd tell you to suck it." ~The Old Lady In Lake Placid
"Oh I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?"
"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken."
"I didn't say it was your fault, I simply said I was blaming you for it."
Don't walk behind me. It gives me the creeps.
Don't walk beside me, for you are not my equal.
Walk in front of me, so I can push you down the stairs.
What light?!?! I'm still looking for the tunnel